I have been wearing this hat for 4 days now.....
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is standing by not able to do anything when your child is sick. My three year old has been fighting a horrible virus for what feels like weeks. It is so hard when your child feels so sick and there is just nothing you as a parent can do to take it all away…. and this is just a “bug”…. what about all of the parents supporting and caring for really “ill” children. What ever the struggle being a parent sometimes is just HARD.
It all started Sat. night when he came down with a fever. We gave him the recommended Tylenol and he went to bed. Sunday morning came and he started complaining about pain and just overall not feeling good. This prompted me to call the DR, he told us to try and get him up and around and give him a warm bath… this helped for a short period of time… then he faded out again and was back to feeling yucky. I eventually got him to bed but was to much of a nervous mommy to let him be to far away so I stayed right there next to him, the night was full of ups and downs and lots of cuddles and tears from both him and me.
Monday morning I called the DR office again and they said to bring him in. They did a full exam and found nothing. The DR told me they needed a urine sample, now he is three in pull ups but not at all potty trained. How are we going to get a urine sample? I asked. I was told they have a bag they can stick to him around his boy parts and wait for him to go… the down fall is this sticky odd looking contraption needs to be changed every 20 mins. So my son who is already in pain, feeling horrible now has to have this bag stuck to his “privates” and wait… Well we waited through 3 bags- and they said they wanted to try one more then if he had not gone yet they would send us home to try there. I asked if there was any other way of getting the sample since this entire event has him so upset… he screamed each time they changed the bag, tears and tears…. They suggested we could try to cathitorize him and get it that way, I stated as horrible as that will be for him at least you will have the sample and I can take him home to rest. So we tried, the doctor, two nurses and I held this poor little boy who already feels so yucky and distraught by everything he has had to go through so far, to stick a small plastic tube… well in a place no child should ever have to have a plastic tube stuck. In my mind I was thinking this is alright now he won’t have to endure anymore inflicted pain and we will be on our way to figuring out what is wrong…. Well there was no urine in his bladder. WHAT? I felt like the worst mother ever. I just kept thinking you have to be kidding me, I just requested that the DR get the sample by this invasive, scary and painful procedure and now there is nothing there and we are back to square one. Well we were sent home to try again with the “bag” this broke my heart.
Once home it took hours and several bag changes to finally get a sample at 6pm that night. By this point I did not know what else to do but just hold this poor child and not let him go… which is exactly what I did, he slept on my chest all night. I am not sure if it is was that he wanted to be with me or if I needed him to be with me after everything I had to put him through just to find out what was wrong. Here’s the kicker though, the urine results came back negative. I put this poor little boy through so much pain and agony only to be told by the DR…. oh he is just fighting a virus.
So now here we are, just having to let this virus run its course. Maybe I will get better at this whole “nurse mom” thing once I have been through this a few times but this is so hard. I can not do anything to make it go away, I can not take the pain and yucky feeling away, I can not fix it for this poor child…. this is not what I am used to. Needless to say it have been a long 4 days just sitting by trying to make him as comfortable as possible. This whole event has made my mind go silly. Here I am trying to nurse my sick child back to health from a silly virus…. what about all the mommies and daddies out there who have to sit by while their children are “really” sick, this blows my mind- where do you find the strength? I know it could be so much worse- and I am thankful for the blessings we have but my heart breaks when I think of all the parents out there that have to be supportive to a child that is plain and simple fighting for their life…
It is hard to be a parent, and illness is something that we just do not think about -we would all go nutty if we sat around worried all the time- but situations like this put life in prospective – it is not as bad as it could be- things could be worse- makes you cherish what you have been given- but for me it gives me a renewed sense of RESPECT for all those that have to endure the pain and struggle of a truly “sick” child. God Bless you.
